TOP romwe / ALIEN PATCH TOQUE brandy melville / JEANS urban planet / YIN-YANG NECKLACE eBay / PARKA costa blanca / COWBOY BOOTS thrifted (salvation army)

If you follow me on Instagram, you already know I wore these cowboy boots for an entire week. I bought them at Salvation Army for $14.99 in the summer, specifically to wear at Pemberton Music Fest (along with some other pieces that I ended up ditching, in favour of a bikini-and-shorts-combo that I wore every day during the festival).
I've been sleeping at my boyfriend's family's place for the past few weeks, with some intermittent nights at my apartment. Avry says nobody minds, but this is getting ridiculous.

My classes have begun, and I have a lot of reading to catch up on, mainly Sense & Sensibility by Jane Austen, and Paradise Lost by John Milton. I'm in three English courses this term, and two Creative Writing classes (Intro to Screenwriting and Intro to Fiction). I'm basically taking CrWr for the credits and as GPA boosters. (Woah, fancy abbreviations!)

I will hold a Bachelor of Arts degree in May of this year.
A lot has happened.

Do you think about that sometimes? The fact that a lot has happened before you were even able to process it all?

Every night, when I close my eyes (in Avry's arms I lay), I can't help but run through the entire day of social interactions between myself and others, actions made by myself and others, words said and unsaid, and even something as trivial as how I looked as I walked through a door, stepped on the bus, did I smile? did I stutter when I replied to my professor's question? should I raise my hand less? or more?

But in the end it's all futile, because as soon as I tire myself out and fall asleep, the new day begins and everything that has occurred yesterday will disintegrate into the past.
They say, "Never look back".

I say, "Look both ways before crossing."




CAT EAR BEANIE c/o oasap / SKULL LUANA TOP and CAROLINE CARDIGAN brandy melville / DISCO PANTS american apparel / LEOPARD SOCKS h&m / CHRISTMAS CARDIGAN and SHOES thrifted
Check out this cute cat ear toque from Oasap. It's on sale right now for $9.24 on the website, which is a steal. The fabric is thick and it keeps my real ears warm. A customer and a coworker asked me if I sewed the cat ears onto the toque myself and I was like lol no.

I paired the beanie up with some cardigans and fluffy leopard socks to continue the feline theme.

See you around!




I popped into my local charity shop today and picked up a Free People sweater (with a hood) for $10, as well as a set of wooden boxes (the smaller one was $6 and the larger, $8). I wasn't actually planning on buying both, and only paid for the smaller one at first. But when I texted my boyfriend about my exciting buy, he said he wanted the other one. So I ran back to the shop. He'll buy me this game in exchange.
I still have a lot of photos to edit and post. But finals are coming up!




TOQUE, SHIRT & CORDUROY SKIRT brandy melville / FLANNEL thrifted / COMBAT BOOTS topshop / CHOKERS ebay

Yesterday was my first Black Friday at Brandy Melville and it was pretty great. Honestly. The rush wasn't so bad, and the customers were generally cordial. Some girls got upset because we closed down the fitting rooms. We had one mirror and girls were trying everything on in front of it and dumping their discards everywhere. Also, our store manager bought pizza and pop for us to munch on throughout the day. Thank you!

So it wasn't as bad as Boxing Day at Topshop! Hah, don't even get me started...

Rachel, the former visual manager at Brandy, stopped by midday so I took three photos of her while I was upstairs. This is one of them.

Today I took the seabus to North Vancouver to get lash extensions at Noir Lash Lounge (for free 'cause the girl's still in training, so score)! I was half an hour late unfortunately, so she didn't have enough time to finish every lash but it still looks amazing and natural. I literally slept while laying down on the cushioned bed. She even put a blanket over me. It was so soothing. Normally their lash extensions are $80, so I'm really grateful to have had this opportunity. I think in the future, if I had the money, I would definitely do it again.

I took so many photos today. Will upload soon. Ciao!




TOQUE and ALIEN PATCH TEE brandy melville / DENIM JACKET and RIPPED MOM JEANS topshop / SNEAKERS converse / FLANNEL thrifted

I checked out Mudhoney, opened by Tough Age and B-Lines (two of my faves), this Saturday at the Rickshaw Theatre, a place that I've come to associate with slippery floors, beer cans a-flying, sweaty boys and girls, and really chill bouncers. It's also a place where I've moshed many times, crowdsurfed, and touched ground on stage, then hurried off quickly by a security guard because I literally had no idea what I was doing up there. The first time I went to the Rickshaw was a year and a half ago, for Apollo Ghosts' final show.
Let me tell you something, a real heart-to-heart, if you will: moshing must be obliterated, or transformed to include everyone who wants to participate. I've had my fair share of bodies slamming into me (and I'm short, too, so mostly it's elbows), shoes stepped onto mine, the domino waves of falling people from all sides, and the collective energy -- pure energy personified by dripping strands of hair, unpredictable arms and legs, and soaking wet shirts -- surrounding me, empowering me, and hurting me. I've never broken a limb, nor was I ever knocked unconscious, but one of my friends once had his shoulder dislocated, and back when I used to join the mosh pit, my boyfriend and I frequently came home with cuts and bruises all over. My toes would ache and I would think to myself, "Wow, that was a great time."
Now I see past the energy, and can connect my bodily pains to the source: aggression. Why is it that punk music creates such masculine, territorial aggression within the crowd? As a girl, I've fought like a boy for my territory in the front of the stage, or in the centre of the mosh pit -- because the mosh pit is often, if not always, at the front of the crowd. For this recent show, I chose to stand behind the mosh pit and dance. I isolated myself unintentionally from the energy that I was used to because I wanted to enjoy the music without conforming to the male-oriented culture that has excluded girls, unaggressive concert goers, and people who are too drunk to partake in the collective culture. As I jumped up and down, I noticed three girls who stood their ground in the middle of the mosh pit. They were performing the same actions as the men around them, except that they were more frequently thrown to the outskirts, and they always had their arms up, alert at all times.
Seeing those girls reminded me of Kingfisher Bluez Christmas Party last December, when a girl near me pulled my hands up and told me, "You are so tough". Something that I haven't thought much about until this weekend. Now I realize that I'm not so tough at all. I honestly enjoy the music, but I've always had to deal with other people's masked hostility in order to participate in this collective subculture of live-music-enjoying behaviour. I enjoyed throwing people around only because they threw me around first! And of course I didn't do much damage, seeing as how small I am.

Sometimes it's funny when two guys start going at it, trying to outdo each other, to prove themselves in the crowd of witnesses. They might laugh, smile, and make it into a joke. They might start off jostling. Maybe pushing each other hard, to create a domino effect throughout the crowd. Maybe some people push back against the two perpetrators, willing to participate, happily, or even angrily. But what's the point?

I used to think that moshing was what punk music was about. I hastily deduced that going to a live show leads to moshing. It's what we've been exposed to. It's like going to your first dance in high school, and expecting to hold your dance partner really close and shuffle through every song, which we all did really awkwardly. We didn't know how to express our emotions, our bodies, through dance yet -- we didn't know how to enjoy the music.

What I liked about this recent show is that a girl standing behind me dropped her drink onto the floor, and because it was glass, it made a loud shattering noise. I looked at her and she made a joke about the floor, how there's alcohol everywhere. I gave her a thumbs up. During the next song, we yelled stuff about ourselves at each other in lieu of an actual getting-to-know-you conversation. When the music got super energetic, she pulled me into the mosh pit and we held hands and spun each other around, while jumping up and down to the music, and it was really fun. Somebody pushed her and she fell down, right into the alcohol puddle. A few guys pulled her up and I pushed the perpetrator back, feeling completely annoyed.

We just wanted to express ourselves in a manner that was different from the self-proclaiming male-dominated punk culture. There's no room in the mosh pit to dance or touch one another without aggression.

That's all I wanted to say.

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